‘Abigail’ Movie Review: Ballerina Vampire Flick Is Fun But Could Have Been Even More Fun
Photo from IMDb
From Jeremy Kibler
How can a horror caper involving a 12-year-old ballerina vampire feasting on a group of kidnappers possibly live up to that can’t-miss concept? Abigail, the once-stealth Universal Monster Movie from Radio Silence, definitely tries, with a game ensemble getting doused in plasma by the cannon. But once it shows its cards, this “House on Haunted Hill with a tutu-wearing bloodsucker” is fun without ever fully taking off.
A team of six criminals, all of them strangers, comes together to kidnap Abigail (Alisha Weir), the ballet-loving daughter of a tech billionaire, and take her to an abandoned mansion, all for a split of $50 million. Lambert (Giancarlo Esposito), who has hired them, reminds these criminals that this is a 24-hour job with no real names and no backstories, just babysitting the little twerp until they each get their cut. In the meantime, he names each of them after the Rat Pack. There’s ex-medic Joey (Melissa Barrera); ex-cop Frank (Dan Stevens); ex-soldier Rickles (William Catlett); intellectually dim muscle Peter (Kevin Durand); driver Dean (Angus Cloud); and look-out/hacker Sammy (Kathryn Newton). The fun really begins when they realize the mansion has been locked down and they can’t leave.
Whether or not you’ve seen the trailers, you can imagine these kidnappers are about to be in over their heads. If you have paid attention to the promos, then you know that this could have been titled Dracula’s Daughter. Yes, Abigail is not a cute pre-teen girl who likes to practice her Swan Lake in an empty concert hall but actually a centuries-old vampire who likes to play with her food.
Directors Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett and writers Stephen Shields (The Hole in the Ground) and Guy Busick (Scream VI) have all of the ingredients here for a fresh genre remix, and some of the pieces do play out effectively in execution once the film giddies up. The threat at the center of Abigail is the main hook here—and it’s a deliciously bonkers one—but the filmmakers surprisingly only manage a few moments of inspiration after the reveal. For one, somebody falls into a goopy abattoir of dead bodies, and the other involves a pas de deux when one of the crooks gets bitten.
A who’s-who cast has been perfectly assembled at least, and the script does try very hard to make us care whether or not this lot of cardboard cutouts makes it out out with their necks still intact. Most of them are expendable fodder for Abigail’s fangs, but a few stand out. Melissa Barrera, getting covered in blood once again, is the de facto leader as Joey, and while she’s a strong enough anchor and moral center, her backstory involving her son earns more eye-rolls than rooting interest. For efficient-enough exposition, there is a clever getting-to-know-them scene where Joey psychoanalyzes each member of the group in the parlor, and she’s spot-on.
William Catlett and the late Angus Cloud get the shaft, but himbo-ready Kevin Durand, a scenery-chewing Dan Stevens, and an adorable Kathryn Newton do have their choice moments during the hit-and-miss banter. Above everyone else, it’s the titular Abigail who pirouettes off with the movie. It’s hard to believe this is the same Alisha Weir who played Matilda Wormwood in the film adaptation of the Broadway show, but Weir is sensational (and props to the practical make-up department). She gets the most to work with, showcasing her range from a terrified innocent to a vicious monster with a demented playfulness on a dime.
The proceedings aren’t without its pleasures, whether it’s a one-liner that slips through the carnage, a self-aware touch involving other vampire movies, or a joke involving garlic (and onions). But even when the film delivers a satisfying explosion of blood (and keeps repeating it as a gore gag), it almost begins to feel too much like an inverse of Radio Silence’s great debut, Ready or Not. As the surprises lessen and the action gets heavier, the third act even grows a little protracted and repetitive.
Abigail could have been a lot of things—creepier, funnier, leaner, more subversive—that fans of Radio Silence can’t help but feel a tinge of disappointment. Then again, for a more-entertaining-than-not popcorn movie on a Friday night, it’s as reliable as a set of sharp fangs to an artery.
Rating: 3/5
Abigail is now playing in theaters.
